You can blame it on hormones, blame it on the heat, or blame it on the fact that you’re dirty and don’t wash your clothes. But it just doesn’t matter who’s to blame when you look like a professional but have the body odor of a rabid raccoon who has lived in trash for months (no offense to raccoons, I love them). My good friend and I were like those fancy raccoons, but more smelly and less cute.
A visible cloud surrounded us, similar to Pig Pen from Charlie Brown. We wasted hundreds of dollars on everything from Secret Clinical Strength deodorant to men’s deodorant to natural mud paste sourced from a magical cave in the Hochokogel mountain. Nothing worked to suppress our body odor. We resigned ourselves to a life of stinkydom. Yet, when all hope seemed lost, I found the cure.
So what the heck killed our body odor?
I’ll give you a few hints: It’s cheap, it smells like feet, and you can use it for cooking, cleaning, laundry, or basically anything you want! I know what you’re saying, “JUST SHUT UP AND TELL ME!” Ok, prepare yourselves. The secret weapon is…Apple Cider…Vinegar!
Apple cider vinegar is naturally antibacterial, anti-fungal, and antiviral. One whiff causes bacteria and fungus to run for the hills! What does scaring bacteria have to do with your body odor? The true cause of your stinky armpits is bacteria kicking it on your skin. Your sweat doesn’t actually smell. The smell is caused by bacteria breaking your sweat down into acids. Therefore, kill the bacteria and you’ll kill the smell.
The fancy-schmansy viral deodorant hit known as Lume works on this same principle. Although I’m pretty sure their deodorant smells way better than stinky apple cider vinegar. However, if you’re short on funds and want a deodorant multitasker you can also make salad dressing out of, apple cider vinegar is your friend.
Here is a step-by-step guide on how I cured my body odor:
- Ensured that I was completely alone and naked as a new-born babe. You DO NOT want to get this stuff on your clothing unless you’re washing them immediately afterwards. Unless of course you’re into the stench of rotting, cheesy, feet.
- Soaked a cotton makeup round in a mixture of equal parts apple cider vinegar and water. Unless you’re a viking warrior, you might not want to attempt this immediately after shaving.
- Held back my gag reflex and wiped stinky feet juice (a.k.a. apple cider vinegar) onto my armpits.
- Left on long enough to kill some serious bacteria–between an hour to overnight–and washed off at next shower.
My pits went from being shameful, stinky, bogs of bacterial filth to the glittering, proud, rainbow-producers they are today. I went from reeking like a construction worker by 1pm, to skipping deodorant and smelling like a flowering daisy in a wild English meadow. This changed my friend’s life as well, who decided to repeat this treatment every day and forgo deodorant altogether.
I don’t use apple cider vinegar every day, just occasionally when I feel like I need to kill some built up bacteria. And FYI, if you have some shirts that are particularly stinky and somehow repelling your regular detergent, wash them in, you guessed it, vinegar! Add a cup to your load. You can also use this on other areas, such as your partner’s stinky feet.
So there ya go! Apple Cider Vinegar is cheap as hell and easy to use. If you find this regimen doesn’t work for you, no big loss! You can still use the rest of the bottle to make a delicious and healthy salad for ONE while you stew in your stinky juices.
Side note: Apple cider vinegar has been linked to regulating blood sugar in certain random control trials. But more on that in another article (will link when available)!
Click here for more information on apple cider on and how it works here: Apple Cider Vinegar