Clean Your Bra Bro

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Ohhhh, the troubles that come with having breasts. Suffering from boob sweat, ogling from random people everywhere, feeding babies, and breast cancer are a few of the things that first come to mind.

And then…there’s bras.

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Not only are they a pain in the butt to find the perfect size/fit (I’ll write another post on how to do that later), but they cost a billion dollars only to have a wire pop out or a strap break, and they’re a huge pain to clean and dry without having the bra lose its support and shape. That’s why I’ve been finding out more and more (be afraid men) about how little women actually clean their bras. I’ve known women who go out and buy a new bra instead of washing their old one. Yes, this happens.

There are tons of articles explaining how to wash your bra by hand in the sink and/or how to machine wash and dry without harming the bra (or so they claim), such as this article: http://www.wikihow.com/Wash-a-Bra

However, for the rest of us lazy gal’s who don’t want to purchase a soap specific to lingerie, are mentally exhausted by the idea of filling up a sink and scrubbing your stuff like an old washer woman at the river, and/or don’t want to purchase a separate mesh bag, I’ve got an easy solution for us!

It’s called washing your bra in the shower. What could be easier and why haven’t we been notified about this before??? Jump in the shower with your stankified bra and wash it whilst cleaning yourself. All you need is a pea-sized amount of mild shampoo or even a baby shampoo, and use it to lather up your bra. Wash all the shampoo out and bam! Clean bra. I mean, if you’re conditioning your hair, you have to stand around for a few minutes to let the conditioner sink in anyway, right? Why not spend that time quickly cleaning your bra and doing the world a service at the same time?

When you’ve rinsed out the shampoo, simply dry your bra by hanging it on the shower rod to really annoy everyone in your household. They think it’s invasive, I think of it as “Brart”, a.k.a. Bra Art. If they yell at you to stick your bras in the dryer instead, show them one of my favorite moments from Hedwig and the Angry Inch (fast forward to :33):

If you want your bra to last as long as possible, never, ever, EVER place it in a dryer. IT WARPS. I never thought I’d learn that lesson from a drag queen in my early twenties…

So there ya go lazy folks. You now have zero excuses not to clean your over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder!