Blame it on hormones, blame it on the heat, or blame it on the fact that you’re dirty and don’t wash your clothes. But it just doesn’t matter who’s to blame when you look like a professional lady/gent and smell like a rabid racoon that’s been living in the trash for months. That was yours truly and a group of my pals until I stumbled across the smelly, liquid, golden answer to all of our woes.
A visible cloud permeated around us similar to Pig Pen from Charlie Brown. Between the four of us, I would estimate that hundreds of dollars were wasted on everything from Secret Clinical Strength to men’s deodorant. Nothing worked. A good friend and co-worker was even “odor-shamed” by two co-workers who thought it completely prudent to gift her deodorant at work. Sadly, their attempts were like trying to fight an elephant with a limp noodle.
So what worked???
Then one day I stumbled across the solution. It’s cheap, it smells like feet, you can find it anywhere, and you can use it for cooking! I know what you’re saying right now, “SIGN ME UP!” Ok, prepare yourselves….the secret weapon is…Apple….Cider…Vinegar (ACV).
Get ready to high-five, raise you arms in victory and perhaps even date again without fear!
My regimen is exactly as follows:
- Ensure that I am completely alone and naked as a new-born babe. Trust me, you don’t want to get this stuff on your clothing unless you’re washing them immediately afterwards. Unless of course you love the stench of rotting baby feet.
- Soak a cotton makeup round (purchased at Walgreens, CVS, or any grocery store) in ACV. You can pretty much use whatever you want though, such as toilet paper you savage! **NOTE: If applying ACV directly to your skin causes irritation, try diluting it with water.**
- Hold back gag reflex whilst wiping stinky feet juice (a.k.a. ACV) onto my armpits.
- Leave on long enough to kill some serious bacteria–between an hour to overnight–and wash off at next shower.
Why does this work?
Because ACV is naturally antibacterial, anti-fungal, and antiviral. This is the stuff that causes bacteria and fungus to go running for the hills! It’s basically the equivalent to the relationship between garlic and vampires. Or me and hard work… And the secret cause of your stinky armpits is the bacteria thriving in your moist crevices. Kill the bacteria and you kill the smell.
My pits went from being shameful, stinky, bogs of bacterial filth to the glittering, proud, jesus-ray producers they are today. I went from reeking like a construction worker by 1pm, to skipping deodorant and smelling like a flowering daisy in a wild English meadow. This changed my friend’s life as well (she’s the one who received the gift of deodorant at work). She decided to use ACV every day and forgo deodorant altogether.
Currently, I don’t use ACV every day, just occasionally when I feel like I need to kill some built up bacteria. And FYI, if you have some shirts that are particularly stinky and somehow repelling your regular detergent, wash them in, you guessed it, ACV! Just add a cup to your load.
So there ya go! Apple Cider Vinegar is cheap as hell. And if you find this regimen just doesn’t work for you, no big loss! You can still use the rest of the bottle to make a delicious and healthy salad for ONE while you stew in your stinky juices.
Even better, ACV has been linked to regulating blood sugar in diabetics in experimental studies. But more on that in another article (will link when available)!
More information on ACV and how it works here: Apple Cider Vinegar